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And to always embrace life in every way I can..........

Finally Happy

Damn it's been forever since I've been on this! I just decided I wanted to start to write again! I met a boy wow a little over a year ago and we are living in CO together is this great big wonderful two bedroom apartment! We have a crazy dog named Molly....because he's Irish and he named her after Flogging Molly :) I have been doing more photography because last christmas my Mom got me a bad ass new Nikon D50 and I love it! My family and I are doing great..I am fianlly getting along with my Mom...haha oh ya happy mothers day to all! Life seems to be good and I am truly happy! I hope all is well with everyone else! Love to all!
*A*

The meaning of life?

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community anround you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning" -The couch Morrie

This is exactly what I needed to hear.......this is what I am missing in my life!!!
*Annie*

These words can't leave my lips~

Every once in a while my emotions catch up with me and all I want it to be free. I look up to the stars and hope for so much more. This time I don't want to give in, this time will forever be different. I will type my thoughts so I never have to speak again. Here lies a lesson to be learned and trust to be earned. I want so bad to make it through this together with him. I think I love him...but I'm not sure what love is yet. I held him up on a pedistal, so much higher then any man before. Because he was different and exactly what I have always wanted. With everything in common he has become my new best friend. The first time that I let every sigle wall down. I put so much faith and trust in him, and I let him see the real me. So where can we go from here? He is calling and I'm not answering simply because I don't know what else to say...I have feelings that just won't go away. It's a shitty cycle that I'm stuck in. I will forever be just a friend.

"A old man gave me a tip he said
dont waste your time with politics he said
just chase skirts instead
life is too short, and your almost dead he said
I met a woman once, I gave her my best shot
but never did I talk
if I had her back Id be as real as my age
I so dont blame them, I wouldnt do the same
but I can blame them, Id Sing her this

you want to be dressed in poetry
but imagery doesnt fit
and you want resizing
but darling dear get a grip

and I think what I just wrote is going over my head
Im stealing lines from myself
And what I said was never said
Its just a lyrical lie
Made up in my mind

And you want to be dressed in poetry
but imagery doesnt fit
and you want resizing
but darling dear get a grip

youre moving but not aware
yourre drowsy without a care
except keeping your whites behind your lids
and your lids are your best canvas
I can only imagine what your painting
And your body on my mattress is proof
And your makeup on your pillow is proof
But do you think I am telling you the truth

And you want to be dressed in poetry
but imagery doesnt fit
and you want resizing
but darling dear get a grip"
"If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we'll go our separate ways

We've always had time on our sides
Now it's fading fast
Every second every moment
We've got to--we've gotta make it last

I touch you once I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You always said we'd still be friends, someday

If you leave I won't cry
I won't waste one single day
But if you leave don't look back
I'll be running the other way

Seven years went under the bridge
Like time standing still
Heaven knows what happens now
You've got to--you've gotta say you will

I touch you once I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You always said we'd meet again

I touch you once I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You always said we'd still be friends

I touch you once I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You always said we'd meet again someday

If you leave
Oh if you leave
Oh if you leave
Don't look back
Don't look back"

Fucking Vodka~

"Every night that goes between
I feel a little less
As you slowly go away from me
This is only another test
Every night you do not come
Your softness fades away
Did I ever really care that much
Is there anything left to say
Every hour of fear I spend
My body tries to cry
Living through each empty night
A deadly call inside
I haven't felt this way I feel
Since many a year ago
But in those years and the lifetimes past
I did not deal with the road
And I did not deal with you I know
Tho the love has always been
So I search to find an answer there
So I can truly win
So I try to say
Goodbye my friend
I'd like to leave you with something warm
But never have I been a blue calm sea
I have always been a storm
We were frail
She said
"Everynight he will break your heart"
I should have known from the first
I'd be the broken hearted
But I loved you from the start"

Dear Cancer:

With every ending comes a new beginning.
Get ready to embark on an exciting journey.

gyűlöllek mert szeretlek

This year:

I'm going to stand clear of DRAMA
I'm going to work on some of those ducks and getting them all in one nice little row
I'm going to push myself so hard to do what I know is right
I'm going to think happy thoughts all the day long
I'm going to let go of old pain and make new memories
I'm going to do what is best for me instead of what is best for you
I'm going to work out at my gym at least three times a week instead of just once
I'm going to be thankful for my life everyday that I live
I'm going to learn German
I'm going to say I love you more because you never really know when it could be the very last time those words are heard or said
I'm going to visit the beach more and appreciate the beauty that God made
I'm going to try to drink less beer and more wine
I'm going to realize that my dreams won't come true unless I really want them to
I'm not going to give my heart to just anyone
I'm going to take a roll of film a week for practice and such
I'm not going to waste my time on stupid people who never care anyway
I'm going to spend more money on myself instead of alcohol or greens
I'm going to be my crazy self and just not care what other people think
I'm going to paint more and visit Venice Beach
I'm going to kiss him a million times before he leaves in a few weeks
I'm going to try to play more and more
I'm going to sing louder in the shower
I'm going to turn 80's music up extremely loud in my car with all my windows rolled down
I'm going to dance until the sun comes up just like in Budapest......MIKI I miss you :)

"Today is the greatest
Day I ’ve ever kown
Can’t live for tomorrow
Tomorrow’s much too long
I burn my eyes out
Before I get out

I wanted more
Than life could ever grant
Bored by the chore
Of saving face

Today is the greatest
Day I have ever known
Can’t wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I’ll tear my heart out
Before I get out

Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I’ve tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings

Today is
Today is
Today is
The greatest day
That I have ever known

I want to turn you on
I want to turn you round
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you

Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever known"
Revelation: Song~

"Feel like a riddle today?
Glamorous - and I must say
That you are barely ok
Meanwhile I fight
For reason clamor in hand to
Defend this: my only body stands

Take a look around
Everything - in turn - will come down
Don't depend on this - broken promises
They won't hear a sound

Last chance to find the way out
Rearrange life 'till sundown
Fears of
A stick in the mud

I solved the riddle today
Glamorous and I must say
That none of us are ok

Take a look around
Everything - in turn - will come down
Don't depend on this - broken promises
They won't hear a sound

You plant the seed, to grow the tree
But save room for the family
Evolution turns another ugly hand
Suddenly man cannot stand
Matchstick starts a fire
Pinpoint the blame
Through the trees I scream your name

Take a look around
Everything - in turn - will come down
Don't depend on this - broken promises
They won't hear a sound"

Damn The Man~

You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away

He likes it, I like that he likes it, I like it, he likes that I like it.....we both like it :)